


Mystery Science Motherhood

by foxinthestars



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Bizarre Experiments, Blanket Permission, Crackpot Fan Theory, Gen, The Secret Origins of Kinga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxinthestars/pseuds/foxinthestars
Summary: Pearl knows the real truth about Kinga’s mother.
Relationships: Kinga Forrester & Pearl Forrester
Kudos: 1





	Mystery Science Motherhood

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who wants to use my work as a basis for their own fanfic, fanart, podfic, translation, etc. has my permission to do so. Just credit me as appropriate.

“Dr. Erhardt said it was Kim Cattrall,” Kinga said smugly, apropos of nothing.

Pearl laughed; her granddaughter had asked about “it” so many times, now this. “Oh-ho, no. Larry must have seen the passionate letters going back and forth, but Clayton was just passing those along for Art.”

Kinga snarled, thwarted again. “If it’s not Kim Cattrall, who is it!?”

“Maybe when you’re older.”

“How old do I have to be, forty? Fifty? Ninety!?”

Pearl took a long swig of her beer, savoring her turn at being smug.

It was even better because she wasn’t just teasing; she really did know the truth. Of course she did. She remembered that most bizarre of her experiments like it was only yesterday...

The tricky DNA extraction had yielded predictably incomplete results, and she’d filled in the gaps with Clayton’s genes more because they were handy than anything else. When the whole thing had somehow resulted in a normal, healthy _baby_ , Pearl had stood staring into the test vat and remarked to the universe “Well, _now_ what do I do?”

Pearl Forrester was never at a loss for long, though. Suddenly she had a granddaughter — the girl she’d always wanted, with womanly self-possession and a perfect fall of red hair, a worthy heiress to her foremothers’ pursuit of weird science and world domination.

But to look Kinga in the face and tell her “your gene-splicing mommy is a cartoon bombshell married to a rabbit”? The girl wasn’t ready.

Would she ever be ready?

Pearl smiled mysteriously and said the words no child who wanted anything ever wanted to hear:

“We’ll see, honey.”

End

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this ficlet is really just an excuse to share my crackpot fan theory about Kinga’s origins. As I recall, I came up with this headcanon after season 11; it got jossed in season 12, but a workaround was easy enough.
> 
> Seriously, though, look at pictures of Dr. Forrester and Jessica Rabbit, then look at Kinga. It scans, it really does.
> 
> Hope it gives you a laugh, anyway!
> 
> (Thinking further on that workaround, it’s also fun to imagine Crow and Dr. F in some kind of Cyrano de Bergerac situation — complete with beak. Bunny free to good home.)


End file.
